of Blood/C-, A-
US/1996/Color/Widescreen 1.85:1/Stereo Surround/87 minutes/Directed by Gilbert Adler/Starring Dennis Miller, Erika Eleniak/Universal/35 Chaps/CLV/$34.98
I am sure there will be plenty of Dennis Miller fans that think Bordello of Blood is an hilarious send-up of vampire movies, sex movies, Eddie Murphy movies, and more, but to me its more reflective of the low level of creativity that dominates Hollywood. Framed around an introduction from the Tales from the Crypt ghouls, there are some funny moments in the film. Holy Water is used in an imaginatively sophomoric way and provides a few entertaining squirts. Mostly, this is a film I would consider that exists for the sake of grossing out it audience to a degree that provokes embarrassed laughter.
What can you say about the plot. A Tinseltown evangelist manages to put together the quartered heart of a long expired vampire in order to revitalize the demon as a weapon of God. Dennis Miller plays Rafe Guttman, a hapless private eye hired to find a pretty ladys missing brother. His search takes him to an ongoing orgy, where bare breasted, silicon implanted female vampires drink their victims blood in a frenzied thirst. Believe me, there are more silicon breasts in this movie than in the entire Silicon Valley. Erika Eleniak is the damsel in distress and just about the only lady without fangs.
You get to see every drop of blood distinctly on this fine laser disc. The reds are appropriately intense, producing a bath of color, tightly controlled in startling droplets cascading down any number of pretty female bodies. The excellent sound provides precise blood sucking sounds. If the nude details are enough to satisfy your movie lust, Bordello off Blood may prove the right drink.